Waking Up on Wednesday.

So today is hump day. The middle of the week. People all over are already mulling over their weekend plans. Me, I always do the same thing: Have beers, watch WWE Smackdown and talk to all the pretty ladies online that I can find! Hey, it cheaper than going out! Plus, I don't have to spend any money. On a good night, you never know who might appear. It helps that I know alot of females already.
I know white girls, black girls, Asian girls, Latina girls. I know Jewish girls, British girls, German girls, Russian girls, girls from Australia and Indian girls. Heck I even know a few that seem like they just dropped in from outer space! I know Women and they all love me. Shoot, I can't help it!
See, the thing is to know yourself. My dad was a bald, pudgy white dude but still he could make any lady laugh. He told the crudest jokes imaginable but people still cracked up. He knew how to hold back and laugh at himself because "acting like a bad-ass was too easy." Plus, this way he stayed out of trouble.
My mom was crazy jealous. Anytime my Dad just looked at another Woman, she jumped down his throat. "Who was that? What did she want?" I think she scared rattlesnakes. My dad had learned how to say alot by doing nothing. So did Hogan's Heroes.


Ok, so if Schultz knows nothing and Col. Klink pumps him for info, how little does Klink know?

Bob Crane and John Banner on TV's Hogan's Heroes.
Video courtesy of:
Bing Crosby Productions.
Bob Crane Enterprises (1970-1971.)
Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS.)
Viacom.

Me, I just keep a low profile. When Women ask who I've been talking to, I make the best effort at telling them what they need to know. "That's just..." insert name here. Then they're like "and who is...?" So I tell them "oh I know them online. They're cool with..." which is true because on Facebook you can see whose all mutual friends with each other. Hey, I might be bad but at least I'm honest. Vaguely.
I never see ladies be honest with the credit card bill. The moment any man asks what a new outfit is for, I know a dozen dames that got two dozen answers. Men aren't the only ones with a quick wit. Women lie to themselves too and for it go self-indulge on hot fudge sundaes. Guess who later has to say "no" when they ask "do these clothes make me look fat?"
I know what's coming. By Sunday, something I've said between now and then will land me in the doghouse. It never fails. Men and Women can come from anywhere but some things are just universal. By which I don't mean the major studio merged with NBC network that Comcast just bought. Men are honest with brutality, Women are honest with sensitivity.
See, if a man is sensitive he's labeled as either gay or an 80's rock star. If a woman is brutal she's branded either lesbian or a "ball-busting bitch." People just can't be nice to each other. If they were, it'd probably be boring as life in the 1990's. Or like life before the internet had pictures in color and Youtube.

Dancing around to the beat of the subject. Movie poster for Flashdance. (1983.)

Image courtesy of:
Paramount Pictures.
PolyGram Filmed Entertainment.